I am sitting alone in the yurt, called out by the snow, wind, and the sound of the trees as they sway in the gusts. Creaking. Moaning. I can still see my breath in here as I wait for the little heater and the fire in the woodstove to warm things up. I am honestly not even sure what I am called to write about, so I will start with the card in the picture.
Feel, Don’t Think.
Sounds kind of simple, but difficult to practice. But I know this is my work right now. I know this because this card came to me twice at two completely different gatherings over a week apart. If you have been following me for any length of time you know I don't really feel aligned with the Gregorian calendar (standard yearly one). I prefer to follow the Wheel of the Year which is much more in sync with the rhythms of nature. January 1st is in the dead of winter, at least here in the northeast, and nature is certainly not emulating a time to start new projects and make resolutions. Ostara, which is the Wheel of the Year celebration in March on the Spring Equinox feels much more like a time for new beginnings. That’s why I have been surprised as this new year has come around by this little flame of inspiration. I feel a significant shift in my energy. A call of sorts to create change in my life. This is not a new nudge, but one that has been showing up in my journaling and quiet time for months. It sounds something like this:
It's time to be closer to home, to land, to ceremony. It’s time for more community and connection. It’s time to make more space for energy work and gathering women.
As a first step I have accepted a new position at the company I work for that requires very little travel. I was on the road for over 120 days in 2024. In 2025 if might be more like 10-15, if that. This represents a HUGE shift in my life. I have been traveling for work regularly since I left my career in ophthalmology in 2014. But my spirit and my body have been very clear that a shift is necessary. I am both excited and a little nervous about the change, but mostly excited. Not having a busy travel schedule does not mean I will not be busy, but it does open up more space to cultivate a regular yoga practice at the studio. (I love the community aspect of group classes) It does allow me to more easily and consistently eat foods that nourish my body and make me feel good. It also affords me for flexibility to offer energy work and gather women more often. I can't lie, I will miss all the airline and hotel points, but that's a small price to pay for following my heart.
I have felt for many years like a visitor in my own community, never fully able to engage because of my frequent absence and lack of a reliable schedule. I feel a deep pull to create community and connections, now more than ever. It is no secret that we are living in interesting, somewhat disconcerting times. I truly believe the only way through is through community care and finding spaces of connection with others. Spaces that allow us to feel seen, heard, safe and loved. I am yet unsure what this will manifest as for me. I am working on some new things with several different magical sister-friends to explore ways to be of service and create these kinds of spaces.
I am in my own life, making more space to write, sit in stillness, and connect more deeply with nature, spirit, and my own inner landscape while also setting the intention to honor my now 54-year-old body with more breath, movement, nourishing food, and rest. I was always a little fearful of getting older, of my changing body, but I am finding this new pocket of calm, of giving way less fucks about a lot of things. I am enjoying the idea of moving into my crone years, my wisdom years. I am realizing I love telling stories and sharing everything I have learned along the way. Lesson one, at least for me, perimenopause is a roller coaster of a journey now many folks talk about. I will save that for another blog post. Suffice it to say it's a lesson that is still in progress.
I will wrap this up by saying that I enter this new calendar year with a lot of uncertainty about what will roll out for us as a collective in this country but also certain that love will somehow prevail. Even through the fire and the unraveling of things as we know them, by seeking out community and connection, a new way of being will evolve. I am wishing you a healthy and prosperous new year.
I would love to hear what your hopes, dreams, and fears are as you move into 2025. Please feel free to comment and let me know. I would love to connect with you.
Love, Light and Shadow,
Angie