I am honored to have been interviewed for my friend Kaly McKenna's new podcast series Born Through Fire. Kaly is an amazing women, mother, entrepreneur, Air Force pilot and so much more. Kaly was inspired after her own tragedy and hard times to share the stories of women and how they have overcome and triumphed over the dark times in their lives. Her podcast gives hope and support to those that are struggling by letting them know that on the other side of struggle their is joy and hope. You can listen to my interview with her by clicking on the link below. While you there go ahead and listen to some of the other amazing women's stories. You are sure to be inspired! If you have an a-ha moment or have thoughts you would like to share you can post them in the comments.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/10-radical-self-care-angie/id946784853?i=327771235&mt=2
Much love - Angie
Is Your J.O.B. Defining You?
“As I become who I am meant to be, what I am meant to do will fall like a path of roses before me. And talents I don’t even know that I have, that lie latent within me, will emerge as I surrender more deeply to love.” – Marianne Williamson
Wow! This is such a powerful and true statement. It pretty much sums up my personal journey over the last couple of years. When I first got the feeling that something was amiss in my life and my career, I remember thinking, what will I do? What jobs could I possibly find after being in the same field for so many years? My panic around leaving my job didn’t center around personal or spiritual growth, though truth be told, that was already happening as well, it was focused on my occupation. My focus was on my J.O.B, which at the time I was confusing with my calling. I now realize that they are two completely different things. But, back to 2013…. When I saw the advertisement on one of my favorite blogs for a one-week retreat in Maui, I was intrigued. When I saw that one of the topics we would be covering was discovering your purpose, I was sold! I thought, yes, someone could help me define what I am meant to do. I fully expected to come home knowing exactly what job I could find that would allow me to leave my current position. Well, as I am sure you have already figured out, that isn’t how it went. We did do work centered around purpose in Maui. The difference was, the purpose we were exploring ran much deeper than my J.O.B. It was about our soul’s purpose. It was about what Caroline Myss would call our "soul’s contract". I soon realized that defining who I was meant to be, not what I am meant to do was the first and most important step. What I left Maui knowing was that my purpose revolved around connecting with myself and my higher power and embracing the love and gratitude that resulted from that. And then, most importantly, sharing that love and gratitude with others. (Thank you so much Mastin Kipp)
Yikes! Seems pretty vague, huh? Oh and the other not so concrete tidbit I came home with was that whenever I got quite through yoga or meditation, I would get a nudge from heart, intuition and/or God that I should write a book. This from someone who had never really enjoyed writing and was, frankly, terrified of it. This was not really the concrete, this is the job for you, answer I was looking for. However, as I have learned to use my purpose statement as a guide for making decisions, I have learned that it is not about the actual J.O.B. It is about whether what I am doing is in line with who I am meant to be. In my case, a healer, a light worker and someone who his deeply connected with myself and others. As I have let go of the idea that my work defines me and embraced the idea that I get to define my life’s work, things have shifted immensely. Just as Marianne Williamson so brilliantly pointed out, as I have discovered who I am meant to BE, it has become much easier and less draining to forge a new career path. Actually, career is not really the best term. It is more aptly titled my path to service and expression of my soul’s contract. Remember when I said I kept getting a nudge to write a book? Well, I have not started my book yet, but as you can see, I am writing and sharing my journey with all of you. “Talents I don’t even know lie latent within me will emerge as I surrender more deeply to love”. – Marianne Williamson. I am seeing the truth in this with my own experience. My blog and coaching business have ignited a creative side that I have for my whole life assumed was non-existent.
You might be asking why I have felt the need to babble on to you about my own journey. My intention in sharing my story is to peak your curiosity, to inspire you to take a look at your own experience. Have you been confusing your J.O.B with your purpose? Have you come to define who you are by your occupations or your roles? If the answer to either of these is yes, I encourage, no I implore you, to do some digging on your own. What might be your sacred contract? Are you a healer? Are you an artist? Are you a change agent? There are so many reasons for our being here. What I had to come face-to-face with was this: Is my J.O.B in line with who I am meant to be? That’s a big one! It’s scary to think about what the next step might be. I know it was for me. But, I believe these are some of the questions worth asking and exploring. I would love to hear what discoveries you make and what your next actions step is. Share your journey in the comments below.
Much love - Angie
A Letter To All Mamas Working Outside The Home
As a mom who has always worked outside the home and had my son’s in daycare, I have been prone to guilt. I have wondered if they would wonder if I loved them fully. I have wondered if they would think my job was more important than them. I have pondered whether I will mourn the time I missed spending with them while I was at work, once then are grown and out of the house. It is ironic that I would have these concerns given that my parents both worked full time and my sister and I were cared for most days by our nanny, Patsy. It is funny that I still balk at using the word nanny. I used to think it didn’t sound right because nannies are something associated with wealthy families. I am now realizing that it doesn’t sound right to me because it does not reflect the relationship I had with her. It is too impersonal. From the time I was born Patsy was part of my family. She would arrive before or soon after I woke up and leave when my parents got home at dinnertime. She brought my sister and I to school and picked us up each day. Many times people would mistakenly think she was our mother. I know that as I got older I began to realize that my mom (or at least I perceived she did) had some guilt or regrets about the fact that I have always felt like I have a second mom. I, however, feel so blessed to have had so much love. I had three people to take care of me and guide me. It has been interesting as a parent to now deal with this myself. My kid’s situation is clearly different, they have had many caregivers, whereas I had only Patsy from when I was baby until high school, but I have had some of the same feelings.
As someone who now sees the value in caring for myself and doing what lights me up, I honor so much my mom’s dedication to her career and her own life. I never want her to feel guilt for working as much as she did. It taught me such a valuable lesson. It also gave me the opportunity to have another, amazing, loving person in my life. How lucky am I? As my whole family sat down to have dinner with Patsy a few weeks ago to celebrate her 74th birthday all I could think about was how grateful I am for my journey and all those that have been a part of it. I thought to myself, I need to write a letter to all those mom’s who sometimes lay awake at night wondering if they are doing the right thing by their children. Here is what I want to say: If you are honoring your heart and doing what you are passionate about doing, your kids will feel that. If you are working at a job that is not really your passion, but are doing it to take care of your kids, they will learn the value of hard working and doing for others. They will know they need to be in daycare or with a sitter and they will be okay with it. While they may not always enjoy it in the moment, they will grow to respect your work ethic and learn that it is important to pursue their own dreams. Our children learn how to be in the world from us. You are an amazing mom even if you can’t be around all the time. What is most important is that you are putting yourself first which will only increase the amount of love you have to give to your kids and you family. No matter if your desire is to stay at home, which is something I SO admire, or work outside the home, if you are following your heart and doing what you love, your kids will feel that. Your kids will learn from you how to follow their intuition and desires. What a gift to give to them and the world!
If this speaks to you and you would like to join the conversation about putting yourself first and creating a deeper relationship with yourself, please join me for a free, no sales pitch, webinar on Tuesday 12/2 at 8pm EST. Simply click this link to register: http://webinarjam.net/webinar/go/13440/d0c9c3c22e
Much love - Angie
Self-Care Through The Holidays and My Thank You To You!
The Beauty Of Gratitude
Making Peace With Fear
Making peace with fear.
There are so many things to fear in this world today. Things like disease, war, our declining natural resources, and poverty. I could go on and on. These issues can cause us anxiety and uneasiness. But the fears that I believe cause us the most pain and worry are the ones that exist within us. Fears such as: Am I loved? Am I good enough? Am I a good mother, sister or friend? Am I good at my job? Am I living the life I desire to live? These are the kinds of worries and fears that I see wreaking havoc in women’s lives, including my own. I find that many times these types of doubts live under the surface. They smolder in our being, never really being talked about or addressed, maybe even not being acknowledged. Why would we ignore them? We sweep them under the rug because they are HARD questions. These are the ones that bring up all kinds of, excuse my language, shit! To address these fears we need to dig into the past, assess the present and perhaps learn to let go of worrying about the future. This is not work for sissies! But I believe, no, I know, that it is work worth doing. What I see with women in my life, including me at times, is that they/we often find it easier to gloss over the yucky, uneasy feelings that bubble up on occasion than it is to stop and examine them and spend time trying to figure out what they mean and why they are coming up.
I mastered the art of avoidance. For years, it was my way of being. That is until my heart and soul were literally screaming for me to stop and listen.
What did that look like? It looked like: exhaustion, feeling resentful, sadness, physical illness and an overall feeling that my compass was WAY off. I had most of the fears I mentioned, but lets take the example of, “Am I living the life I desire or was put on this earth to live?” That is a BIG question. I knew instinctively that the answer was a big fat NO! But my mind could easily rationalize that I was being silly and somewhat selfish to want something different or bigger. After all, by outside appearances I had a perfect life. I had a good paying, well-respected job, a supportive husband, two amazing healthy boys as well as a loving, supportive extended family. My need to rationalize away my desires was all about fear. I knew that what my heart and soul were asking for required massive change and upheaval. This fear is what keeps so many of us stuck, unable to enact the change we know we need. Well, I hate to say it, but you knew it was coming; we have to act in the face of fear. “Fear is not your enemy. It is a compass pointing you to the areas where you need to grow.” – Steve Pavina
I am not suggesting you need to take some massive life altering action right away. What I am suggesting is that you at least listen to your heart’s desires.
Figure out what it is you really want or need and take some small action step in that direction. I have used this quote before, but I just love it! Steven Pressfield wrote, “Put your ass where your heart wants to be. By that I mean if you want to paint, put your body in front of an easel. If you want to write, sit in front of the keyboard”. I believe that in any area of our life where we feel stuck, there is fear, and fear causes resistance. I would encourage you to look into what your desires are, what your fears are and where you are encountering resistance. These are the areas that require your attention. This is where your work is. Once you have identified them choose one area where you can enact change and take some sort of action in the face of fear and resistance. When you finally do this, celebrate yourself and this victory! In some way, honor yourself and the step you have taken. This will help keep you on the path to transforming your life.
I am excited to hear from you how you are going to act in the face of fear and resistance. I would also love to know how you plan on celebrating yourself when you do. Please let me know in the comments below.
I will close with a quote from The War of Art, a book by Steven Pressfield. “Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands resistance.”
Much love - Angie
Forgiveness And Surrender
The Importance Of Self-Compassion
The word you need to drop from your vocabulary!
Mid-life crisis or miracle in the making...
We throw the term midlife crisis around quite a bit to describe people who seem to have an abrupt change in the course of their lives. There is a negative connotation to this phrase. It is as if the person is losing their mind or has lost their way in life. The word crisis has all kinds of yucky feelings associated with it. I can say that in my own life I thought this is what was going on with me.
About 2 years ago I started to feel uneasy. I felt like something was missing. I felt trapped in my job. I was empty and confused on the inside. I had no clue what it was, but I knew that something was going to have to change. While I realized this to be the case, I was also terrified to really talk to anyone about it. I didn’t want to be one of those people who find themselves in crisis at the age of 40. So I kept plugging along. I was smiling on the outside. I was successful in my career and my family life was good. Everyone would tell me how lucky I was to have such a perfect life. I felt like I was living a lie. I was not really happy. There was this tugging in my soul telling me that something was not right. I was able to ignore it for some time, but eventually the discomfort got to a point where I had to do something, but I had no idea what. For me it became all about being unhappy in my job. That was certainly easier than digging deep into myself to find answers. Eventually, after reading books, blogs and doing lots of personal discovery, I came to understand that it was not just about my job. My mid-life crisis was really my soul, my heart, screaming at me to wake up and pay attention. Pay attention to what I was feeling, how I was treating my body and more importantly to realize that I had lost my connection with my higher power. Once I had this realization, I knew that this was not really a crisis, but a blessing. It was a miracle in the making. I woke up to a whole new perspective on life and spirituality. In this, I have learned to love myself, to care for myself and cherish the time I have here. Through taking radical action to care for myself and nurture the connection with my higher power, I have experienced radical transformation in my life. It is a miracle really. When I see pictures of myself from a few years ago, I look empty. I am smiling, but there is something missing in my eyes. They are painful to look at. When I see pictures of me now, I love them. I can see how full I am. I can see how truly happy I am deep in my soul. It feels amazing. My light is shining.
I have observed many people go through this. Thinking they are crazy. They feel silly because they are having a so-called mid-life crisis. To that I say, maybe it is not a crisis; maybe it is a miracle in the making. Wouldn’t that be so much more joyful and amazing? Maybe your heart is trying to get your attention. It has things it wants to do, needs that are not being met. Maybe it is time to turn inward and connect with yourself and your higher power, whatever that means to you. I promise you that if you care for yourself first you will have more to give to others.
“Nurture your body and soul each and every day. If you don’t, who will? When you fill yourself up, you have more to give.”
Have you been feeling this way? If so, what do you think it is about? How do you intend on handling it? Can you be gentle and patient with yourself and listen for what might really be going on? Or will you continue to plug along ignoring what is going on inside? I would love to hear your thoughts. Please leave them in the comments below.
Much love- Angie
Coming Home To Yourself
My first video blog!
The other day I was inspired to record a video (Yup, my very first Vlog!!) about coming home to yourself. I talk about feeling at home within your own body and soul regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in. Part of being comfortable in our own skin is really taking care of ourselves, being as patient and kind with ourselves as we are with those around us. I have been traveling a bunch and really getting outside of my comfort zone. This has left me realizing just how important it is to be connected with myself and what I know to be true. I hope you enjoy the video. Please leave a comment below to let me know your thoughts and feeling around coming home to yourself. Sending you all love and light. Much love - Angie
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A Life Changing Leap of Faith
Preface: I wrote this blog a couple of months ago with the intention that it would be the first blog on my website when it finally went live. Little did I know that the stars would align to allow me to share my site with the world for the very first time on the one -year anniversary of my return from Maui. That day I came home determined to live a life centered on love and purpose. I sit in awe and amazement and all that has transpired and how I have been supported through it all.
A Life Changing Leap of Faith
Life amazes me on a regular basis. As I write this, I am sitting under a palm tree, basking in the warmth of the sun. I am soaking in the amazing scenery, the smell of the ocean water and the sound of the waves crashing on the cement wall. I can’t help but ponder how much my life has changed in the last 10 months. Ten months ago I embarked on a journey. I packed up and headed to Maui to attend a retreat with 20 complete strangers. I left behind my life for one week. I signed in my phone and severed all connection with the outside world. I did this on a leap of faith.
I could not ignore the desire that I felt in my soul when I came across the ad for this retreat. At the time I did not have the money in the bank to pay for it or any idea where it would come from. But, I did it anyway! I KNEW I needed to be there. In retrospect, this one act of radical self -care literally changed the course of my life. I went to Maui lost, confused, feeling like I was stuck or like there was a piece of the puzzle missing. I emerged a week later with a newfound reverence for my body and soul. I felt clearer, more open and more awake to hearing the voice of my heart. I was less “in my head”.
I am sure you are wondering what the magic bullet was. What did they give to me that bestowed on me all of these gifts? While I will forever be grateful for my Maui family, Mastin Kipp, Jenna Hall, Jill Esplin and everyone at The Daily Love for such an amazing, transformative experience, there was no magic potion given to me. There was no fairy dust sprinkled. I was, however, provided the space, opportunity and support to cultivate a relationship with myself. Maui was probably the first time in my life that I truly made myself a priority. I gifted myself the chance to listen to my inner voice for the first time. I realized it had been there all along, whispering in the background, but I was so busy doing, that I was never just “being”.
The things my heart was suggesting seemed scary and uncertain. I would think, I couldn’t do that!! That’s crazy. My mind was all too happy to ignore it and move on with what I knew, what I was comfortable with. After my trip, I vowed, NO MORE! It was time to be all in. In the ten months since I came home I have left a job that was not serving me and gotten laid off from the job I took when I left. I fell into a new career, which is allowing me to travel and control my own schedule, while providing for my family. But most importantly, I have learned to love and care for myself as fully as I have those in my life. Following this path has led to clarity around my purpose. It has driven the creation of my business and allowed for more joy and peace in my life.
I know many who are searching for answers and feeling lost will not have the opportunity to attend a retreat like I did. It is my belief that you do not have to have such an immersive experience to cultivate a relationship with your heart. Anyone can do it with some work. Small acts of self- care can blossom into a deep sense of gratitude and connection. This is the stuff of miracles.
If it is transformation that you seek in your life, starting with really taking care of yourself and loving yourself where you are at in this moment is a perfect way to start. Take time to figure out what lights you up. Listen to that voice that is whispering to you about what you really desire. When you listen and talk to your heart and take action based on what you hear, things will shift. You will start to notice little synchronicities. You will feel more present and peaceful. Gratitude will begin to take hold. Gratitude for the gift you are giving yourself and the world. You will gift the world by shining your light and serving others in a way that only YOU can. Together we can start a self-love revolution. Imagine a world where we are all sharing our gifts with the intention of serving others. What a beautiful place it would be. Won’t you join me?
Much love- Angie